First Flight Home

So this is it. The end of the summer..

As I sit in the Denver Airport, it occurs to me that this amazing experience is finally drawing to an end. As I said goodbye to Montana and Wyoming on the drive yesterday, I’m now just understanding the magnitude of change that occurred in my life these last three months. Being away from home and everything that I am used to/grown up near has been an extremely important learning opportunity for me, one that will continue to impact me for many years. From the people I’ve met, the jobs I observed, and the work that I was exposed to, my perspective and interpretation of this world’s possibilities have expanded drastically. I am excited to say that I have grown significantly this summer, and for that, I am proud. Not only am I proud of my accomplishments this summer, but also to return home and to school with a brand new appreciation for education and experience…

Clemson University is something extremely special. Being a land grant school, it has several unique programs and research possibilities in my area of study that each student can and should take advantage of. Last week thirty professors, donors, or alumni of Clemson’s College of Agriculture, Forestry, and Life Science came out to Montana to visit with the interns and I. Hearing their significant appreciation of our work and research really motivated us and helped change our perspective of the summer. We didn’t choose this job for ourselves: there wasn’t any reason that moving two thousand miles across the country for three months was absolutely necessary. We chose it because Clemson University pushes us towards a challenge. This is the type of school that continues to nudge students out of their comfort zones and into new worlds. Montana was a new ‘world’ of sorts for myself and the rest of the team. Together, the four of us achieved success in this strange new place, just as Clemson promised we would. I am proud to have been given such support from the school and from my specific professors this entire summer. I would not be who I have become without you all.

This summer has brought about different changes in my life as well. In an attempt to not drag on about all the turning points of the summer, I can sum it up in one word: relationships. This is such an ambiguous word because it applies to so many interactions, but what they all have in common are other people. I have built new and lasting relationships this summer that I hope to build upon in the coming years. I have also lost a few by choice and by loss.

My relationship with my grandfather is like a novel: even though the last page has been written and the acknowledgments published, the book itself can be read and reread forever. I hope and pray that I have made him proud this summer in my attempts to begin to change the world, as he did in his early 20’s in Chile. No matter how far I go and how many years pass, he and I will always possess a relationship that may never be surpassed.

As far as relationships lost by choice, I live by this quote:

“When people walk away from you, let them go:

your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you.

And it also doesn’t mean they are bad people,

it just means that their part in your story is over.”

And I believe this is a very important way to look at life and the people you come in contact with. Every single person that makes an impact isn’t meant to stick around forever. There are very few people that can be considered lifelong friends and that is an okay thing. Whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, not all are meant to succeed. Some are meant to teach you things about how you deserve to be treated, about how to treat someone else, and what it is like to share your life. And what I have learned this summer is that it isn’t fair to feel guilty for trying and failing. A very good friend of mine who loves Boy Meets World shared with me this quote from the show:

“Friendship, for example, is a real gift. It’s given with no expectation, and no gratitude is necessary.

Not between real friends. Think about that.”

Not owing anyone an explanation or compensation for time spent on a relationship that didn’t progress..that is what it means to be a friend. Or significant other-whatever you want to fill in the blank. And through this summer, I have decided that from now on, I will not apologize for things not working out. Even though time was spent with one special person, if that person turns out not to be the right one, there is no reason to continue if both of you aren’t happy. Even if precious time was invested and you feel like you’ve wasted a portion of your life if you just walk away… No. You’ll waste more time not being honest with yourself. Because, if that person was a true friend, they wouldn’t put pressure on you to stick with something you weren’t truly passionate about. They would appreciate the time spent together, understand the decision, and let go. And of course, I’m not telling you this will be an easy change- it absolutely won’t. But it’ll make moving forward seem less like a task and more of an opportunity.

Now, as this summer draws to a close, so does this “marilyn meets the west” blog. However, don’t get upset just yet! I have a new blog starting up that’ll chronicle my adventures this upcoming fall semester! Check it out at marilynsthirdround.wordpress.com ! Thank you all for all of your support this summer- I couldn’t have done it without you!

Marilyn Jackson